When you’re numb for awhile,
You long to feel something to make you seem
in control,
Anything to keep you from feeling
utterly alone.
So you succumb
to the house’s most common
glass box,
sprawled across the damp
tile-floor,
head tucked between
your legs,
while a scorching waterfall cascades
around you,
cranking the heat higher,
and higher,
until it’s border-line intolerable.
You’re drowning.
Falling.
Suffocating.
Almost.
Because it’s just close enough
to the breaking point,
just enough
to make you feel more lost than you really are,
Aimed just right
to constrain the claustrophobia in your brain,
just close enough
to the whispers that scream,
everysinglethingiswrongwithyou.
But it’s not close enough to break.
At least,
not yet.
So instead, you burn.
Allow the drops to sting your skin
like acid rain,
marking its presence by enraging
every inch of skin that it touches,
savoring the flesh that turns shades
of pale pink,
raging red.
Shielding your face from harm,
so that the thin sheet of skin
that blankets your back,
bears the brunt
of the searing destruction,
you inflict.
As you crouch,
curled into a ball,
trying to protect yourself
from the pain
that you possess.
Because you want
to be saved.
But you also want
to burn/drown/fall/suffocate.
Because hurting is feeling,
and you can only be numb
for so long.
Your poem is great! I can picture this whole thing and I like how you don't directly show what you are trying to say but at the same time it is clear and very meaningful.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite device in this poem is use of formatting and when there's end stop lines or enjambment. My favorite line is "But you also want to burn/drown/fall/suffocate" because I like how the slashes are used to separate each word. Another thing that stands out is the imagery and the emotion.
ReplyDeleteI really liked how you played with the overall structure of your poem. Although this poem is mainly meant to be read of the paper, your deliberate choices of scrunching some words together while italicizing others really allow the poem to come alive.
ReplyDeleteI love the imagery and tone that your poem expresses so clearly! You played around with structure a lot, as well as sticking some words together and italicizing them to place emphasis. I think this poem is relatable and powerful, and reflects the feeling perfectly.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed the imagery that you used in your poem. The first part of your poem that I thought was really interesting was how you described the shower with out telling that it was actually a shower. I also really like how you described how the hot water feels. Your word choice is really captivating and interesting to read. My favorite line is the last line, "Because hurting is feeling,/and you can only be numb /
ReplyDeletefor so long."