Standing at the start line
as the start of the marathon arises
You’ll sit there hoping you’ll get by.
Looking around at others, asking deep inside
Are you really good enough to thrive?
All the other competitors only talk about the marathon,
Like museum workers who know only about one exhibit,
And their accomplishments
So you think you’re incompetent
while your mile time worsens by 5 minutes.
As you look around the corner,
your mentors are saying:
Better do this,
Better do that,
Meanwhile, your poor friend’s about to have a heart attack.
The stress is just like
The four-year marathon of
High school
Where all the competition
Is fueled by the other students, or racers, who boast
About their 4.0
And are willing to break the walls
You try to put between you and them just to
Hear the grade you got on your last test
And parents, or mentors, who demand
Their pawns do this and that
And shoot for the stars
while praying they don’t land among the clouds.
Meanwhile, you hope to
Run away from the
False phrase that these four
Years will fully determine your future
And instead focus on what’s past the marathon
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ReplyDeleteI like how your whole poem is an elaborated simile. Enjambment is used very well, lines are isolated when needed. My favorite line was the last sentence: "And instead focus about what's past the marathon". High school students spend too much time worrying about the future and not living in the present, and this final line really captures the essence and overall meaning of your poem. I can identify to what you're saying on your poem and I don't think I am the only one.
ReplyDelete-my favorite aspect of your poem is the extended metaphor
ReplyDelete-my favorite line is 'and parents, or mentors, who demand that their pawns do this and that'
-i definitely relate to your poem since i grow up in a high stress household, and being able to look past just high school/a 4.0 gpa is something that i think we really should be trying to do more
The most interesting device you use in this poem is the continuous metaphor throughout it. My favorite line in this poem is "And are willing to break the walls." It does depict a pretty accurate picture of things that happen during high school, since everyone wants to know how everyone else did on the last test. Finally, I can definitely relate. Right after a test, unless told explicitly not to, everyone always shares and boasts their scores which can really get some people.
ReplyDelete