Sane

Am I crazy?




Am I crazy for being an average student?

In the midst of suburban teenage robots

whose robotic engineers are carrying their self-made machines

through their exorbitant education

so that they can one day be “successful” and “unaverage.”



Am I crazy for feeling lost?

Without an origin or feeling out of place as the only unpigmented

kid, along with my sister, at every Iranian family event.

Without an origin or missing the sabzi polo Iranian dish

at every Irish family event.



Am I crazy for feeling guilty?

A feeling of guilt that spawns from the constant therapy visits

and the sense of worry coming from my parents

and the prescribed medication so that I can once again feel




relaxed

and normal

and happy.




As any calm and normal and happy and sane teenager should feel.

Am I making a big deal out of nothing?

Am I crazy for sharing my personal life and struggles,

to a bunch of teenagers who, sadly, can relate?




Am I crazy?

No, I’m not crazy.

I’m not crazy because I am not a bad student,

I am not lost,

and I am not guilty.




Am I crazy for feeling crazy?





This poem is about the struggle of feeling out of place in a world where everyone is feeling out of place as well. The person in the poem is a person based off of my experience as a high schooler in the Bay Area. The person in the poem feels “crazy” when surrounded by all of these social cues and standards set by the people in the Bay Area. The poetic devices that I use in this poem are repetition, enjambment, imagery, metaphors, and oxymorons. I really used all of these poetic devices in order to bring emotion and passion into the message of this poem. One of the most important devices I used when crafting my poem's tone and the message is repetition. Just really repeating the phrase “Am I crazy” really brought it to attention. Another one of my other most important devices I used when crafting my poem's tone and the message is metaphors. I used metaphors when describing the students and the parents in the Bay Area that are obsessed with having perfect grades. Another one of my other most important devices I used when crafting my poem's tone and the message is oxymorons. I use many oxymorons to really show the self-doubt and uncertainty that is going through the person’s head. When the person is constantly contradicting themselves, it shows just how confused and how much they question themselves. The most important revision that I made in this poem is the stanzas and the enjambment. These two fixes in the situation of each line just made the poem much clearer and much nicer. The purpose of this poem is to be able to relate to some of the teenagers that go through struggles just like these. This poem really just shows that I am human and that everyone else around me also goes through issues like these that we all need to fight against.