A River
A river chirps outside my house, a rumbling stream
It bends and loops and dips and falls,
The left bank reality, the right a dream,
Forever it flows.
Rotten logs criss cross the river, a mowed field,
Trunks fallen like cut grass.
Yet the dead rot and barren rocks concealed
Periwinkle flowers.
I’ve traveled far upstream to taste
The cold spring waters rush out
Of the ancient mountains, laced
With perfume that clears my mind.
I let the waters carry me down steady,
And curve to every bend and loop and dip and fall,
And around any rocks, I’d be ready,
And when the water mists into nothingness, like a horse’s tail,
I’d be ready.
I really like how you were able to express the river both as a strong current cutting through things it its way, but also as a soft mist and perfume that is flexible and light.
ReplyDeleteI love the imagery in your poem! Your descriptions are so detailed that I can hear and picture the river. I also like how you contrasted the yin and yang of the river because it shows how you worked the Tao poems into your own poem(ex. "dead rot" and "periwinkle flowers"). Lastly, I like how you used the river as a metaphor for "the way" and how you have to flow with the natural progression of time.
ReplyDeleteWow! I love how well you described this metaphor to the readers in a way that appealed to our senses! I also liked how you split up the sentences into different lines. It really played a big role in the sound and flow of the poem which made it appealing and fun to read. Nice work!
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