I feel empty
Yet at the same time
like I’m going to burst.
What homework have I forgotten?
Why does it feel like impending doom?
Why does my back hurt?
How am I going to fill up a sheet
That proves to colleges I’m not worthless?
I’m filled to the brim
With these thoughts.
The stress of it all
Is making the pot of my mind spill out everywhere
And filling me up with more useless ingredients.
The pressures of college and school are
An immovable piece of bedrock;
Blocking the way to happiness,
And crushing that which they rest upon.
I learned how to flip a pen.
Does this have value?
I made a nice looking figure.
Is it a good use of my time?
My bench press improved by 5 pounds.
What could I be doing instead?
I learned how to make a video game level.
Would admissions officers approve of this?
All these things I do to make myself appear whole
To people I’ll never see.
Fill me up with nothingness
And leave me completely empty in truth.
For when it all comes down to one thing,
I’m not living in the moment.
I like how you started to question yourself about if the things you're doing are the right things to do. It really shows how your life revolves around a piece of paper (college application) and how much you change in order to look "good." And also congrats on the bench press man, 5 pounds may seem little but its huge bro.
ReplyDeleteI really liked the final stanza of your poem because it connected everything you mentioned above in a concise way that is easily understandable. My favorite line was "And leave me completely empty in truth".
ReplyDelete